I have always been quite happily outspoken about taboo topics, especially sexuality, with friends. But I realized that I lacked a connection to my own sexuality. I felt this fire in me but was afraid and did not know what to do with it. My sex life, whether with myself or with others, was not as fulfilling as I felt it could be, and I wanted to change that.
Through some life experiences, I realized that sexuality is much more than just physical relief (duh, right?). It's about emotions, love, trust, and security. I felt ashamed of my needs and my lack of connection to myself and others. And we all know how shame can stand in the way until we embrace and accept it.
A few years ago, I started to connect with myself on a deeper level, experiencing ups and downs, intensity and numbness. I played with fire, got burned, and then convinced myself I could live fully without it. The DIVA DIVE project was born three years ago, and Alu and I were there together. However, not long after, we decided I would leave the project. I wasn't ready and it didn't feel right.
But my journey into my own sexuality continued, and I gradually came out of my shell. There were times I still tried to convince myself I was okay without exploring the depths of ecstasy, but the numbness was killing me.
A few months ago, my life turned around, and I decided to ride the wave as fully as possible, with an open heart — and not just my heart. I needed to delve deep within myself and accept myself fully. This journey has been one of the most important of my life, and things started to flow; I felt truly alive. I realized that accepting my sexuality goes hand in hand with an open heart and surrendering to life. Accepting this body and all the deep emotions it carries.
I rejoined DIVA DIVE. At first, it was just to work on the socials and texts because I love writing and playing with words and visuals. Bliss is the way of life I chose. Now I am more immersed in all things business and I love it.
Three years ago - I didn't feel the need for a liquid-proof blanket in my life; it was intimidating. I felt like I wasn't enough because I didn't experience hot nights and didn't squirt litres of liquids in ecstatic bliss with a significant other. It made me confront parts of my life I was pretending to be okay with. And we never like when the truth screams at us about things we don't want to see, right?
But I finally stepped into it and accepted where I am on my journey. Things started to feel much more ecstatic. I have always been a positive person, seeing the glass half-full and beauty in everything — but not in myself. It is a strange thing to realize you are the love of your life, the hot mess you were looking for. To shine brightly, not just for others, but for yourself as well.
And so it all came together in the most beautiful way. Writing my hot stories and connecting with DIVA DIVE again. Exploring my own sexuality, not just in exclusive party nights that were my gateway into squirting, but through softness, surrender, and acceptance. Suddenly, squirting and female ejaculation came slowly in those moments, and I realized how beautiful these experiences are. Not intimidating, not making me feel inadequate, but showing me that when I step out of my head and slow down, pure bliss comes.
And with that, I can now welcome these beautiful blankets into my life. I didn't believe it was possible for me to explore them with someone else, so I started on my own. That's why I wanted to share my story — for those with a journey similar to mine. You can give yourself bliss and ecstasy; you deserve to explore on your own. And I believe someone else will come along to explore this deliciousness with you, as I know is my case.
I crave union, intimacy, and exploring with a beautiful soul, diving even deeper into ecstasy. But it is no longer the center of my universe. Not having someone like that fully present in my life doesn't make my sexuality smaller or non-existent.
So, with that, I want to invite you, again and again, into blissful surrender and ecstatic living.